The Rules of Gentility

Fun Notes

An Extra

Mr. Inigo Linsley reflects upon his experience with the fair sex (something my editor made me take out because she thought it wasn’t heroic enough!)

I think about the types of women I have encountered thus far in my life:

1. Jolly, willing women like Lucy the milkmaid, who offered to do to me what she did to the cows (with a difference in anatomy), for a shilling. I was fourteen, and for many years after receiving her accomplished services would become inconveniently aroused at the sight of a milk-jug.

2. Professional women like Mrs. Bright and her ilk who will become, for the right price, whatever you want them to be for an hour or two

3. Women like my sister-in-law Julia, with whom I can talk, and share an easy affection. My only sister died young, but I am sure I should have had a similar relationship with her had she lived.

4. Fanny. Now my dear friend, and once my passionate lover, and not quite yet an ex-mistress. I know eventually she will find another admirer, and would have a better chance of doing so if the father of her child did not sniff around still. We are both very discreet.

5. Philomena. She, I have to admit, has me stumped. I thought her an empty-headed, silly little thing at first, and I am quite sure she thought no better of me. Possibly her opinion of me has not changed. She becomes more of a sweet mystery with every day that passes, and while that is most romantic and poetic, it is also damned annoying. A fellow cannot tell where he stands with such a woman.

The Rules of Gentility

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